Monday, August 8, 2005

Seemingly Obvious Stupidity

A research firm, Insight Express, in conjunction with the Women's Entertainment Network, has named Paris Hilton the American princess of the 21st century. Why would I post on such a thing? Because Ms. Hilton (with 48% of the vote) beat out none other than Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. Okay, Kennedy biases aside, how can U.S. women over the age of 18 seriously choose someone who's broadest stretch of vocabulary is "that's hot"?????? It seems to me what might be considered royalty in other countries need not apply in the U.S. with the media feeding frenzy around trash reality television. The research firm asked 1,000 American women for their perception of royalty and who they felt most embodied that perception as well as the American perception of royalty as a whole.

When I think royalty I first look toward the executive office. Wouldn't you logically conclude that royalty implies power and governing? Evidently not on the Women's Entertainment Network. Nicky Hilton came in 3rd place behind her sister and Schlossberg-- that tells you what kind of royalty we're talking about, big money, no brains, and a poorly written sitcom.

I'd say I'm not so bent out of shape strictly for Schlossberg's sake, but I'd be lying. Does Camelot not mean anything to anyone? The Kennedy's were royalty. Caroline is the keeper of the flame, the sole keeper of the flame for that branch of the Kennedy family tree. She carries on, grace under pressure, beautifully. And Paris Hilton? A very scandalous video. I rest my case.

Suspended Orioles infielder Rafael Palmeiro will face a congressional investigation into possible perjury for statements regarding his use of steroids. Come on! Okay, I realize the magnitude of perjury charges. I also realize that Palmeiro was asked by Congress to appear at a congressional inquiry regarding steroid use in Major League Baseball and he agreed. What I don't get is why...if Congress has evidence that he may have lied, charge him with perjury, don't have another inquiry that will be drawn out (and televised on CSPAN more time than even an interested human being cared to watch). Does Congress have nothing else to do with their time? I do believe we have a floundering Social Security program, a war on our hands, and well isn't there a Supreme Court vacancy?? I better be careful, the last time I asked if Congress had something better to do than investigate steroids they dove into the Teri Schiavo mess.

My question with Palmeiro is this---if the positive test came before his 3,000th hit, should it count? Should he be allowed to remain in the presence of Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, and Eddie Murray, as the only players in the history of the league to hit 3,000 with 500 career homers if he was juiced (oh, forgive the reference to the Jose Canseco book)? I've always felt Palmeiro belongs in Cooperstown. He's earned it. Maybe this too shall pass and just be an overreaction..what are the chances?

And last, but certainly not least, one more bit of stupidity in the news...Reuters is reporting that in a poll of musicians, actors, and experts, Bob Dylan's "Like A Rolling Stone" was voted The Song That Changed The World. What? You've got to be kidding me!!! (And this coming from a girl who's favorite song, next only to "Drops of Jupiter" by Train and "Let It Be" by the Beatles is "Like a Rolling Stone.") How did it change the world? Maybe the music industry, maybe the way we look at music, but not the world. Did it put an end to poverty? Did it cure AIDS? Tell me, what exactly are the criteria?

The article said that ex-Beatle Paul McCartney (which I though was funny because once a Beatle always a a Beatle) voted for Elvis' "Heartbreak Hotel" and the Rolling Stone "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" ranked as number three. The survey for Uncut magazine ranked movies, music, books, etc. Number five on the list was the highest ranking film Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange. Interesting. How'd that change the world? Maybe a widespread outbreak of insomnia out of fear and bogglement, but really, did it change the world?

At the peak of stupidity is the fact that the highest ranking book on the list is at #19 and is Jack Kerouac's On The Road. Changed the world? Have none of these voters ever read The Catcher in the Rye, The Grapes of Wrath, or even the Bible? Kerouac is a stretch even for something this far-fetched!

It seems to me that if you're really going to take a stab at a survey like this you might want some educated voters. Really, Keith Richards?


Nick Speth said...

"...don't have another inquiry that will be drawn out (and televised on CSPAN more time than even an interested human being cared to watch)."

Tara, almost anything that's on CSPAN is aired for more time than most people want to watch.

I've got to be honest here. Hilton is as suited be be royalty as anyone in America, just because, well, she's an alky skank, and isn't that at least one of the prerequisites for royalty?

p.s. can you give me the link to that Reuters story?

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field.

Totally confidential, open 24 hours a day.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Cory said...

I'm afraid I'm with Nick on both points here.

Tara A. Rowe said...

Hey now, no CSPAN bashing, it is only my favorite! There are things they run on that channel that I'd be content watching for the rest of my life...watching them grill Palmeiro just isn't one of them.

An "alky skank" huh? Then if that is a pre-req I wonder why Caroline has topped the list for so long, she's homely maybe, but not skanky.

I think I'll get my degree the old fashioned hoop-jumping way, but thanks for the info.

The Reuters story:

Nick Speth said...

Mmmm... Grilled Palmeiro. With Barbeque sauce.

Tara A. Rowe said...

Did you know that Palmeiro and Jose Canseco are both from Cuba? Maybe they are conspirators after all.