Friday, October 7, 2005

200 Posts...200 Reasons To Quit

As I had contemplated the 200th post mark for The Political Game, I had many ideas in mind as to how I might celebrate the occasion. Little did I know the last two weeks of my life would be so chaotic and the outcome would wear so heavily on me, dampening that celebratory spirit I had anticipated.

Lately in my life I've been confronted by significant accusations, setbacks, and honestly, brick walls. As I began the semester I quickly learned how trying my fall schedule would be and I also began to realize what a dead end the History program at Idaho State is for me. Over time I've come to miss a dear friendship and miss an amazing teacher. And most of all I've really began to question if anyone really knows me at all.

After an article I wrote in the Idaho State Bengal for the College Democrats, a group of which I am a part, on the topic of education in the state of Idaho, I took some pretty harsh criticism on campus and off for being both too outspoken on the issue and by some, including my own mother, too passive. Passive I am not. If anyone questions how I feel about education or wonders where I stand I would remind them that I have in several instances voiced my support for higher education, funding of education in general, and have praised teachers as I've seen fit that have made an impact on my life as well as countless student's lives. The Campus Debate: Education, Mehr Licht, Senate Passes Bill on Tuition, Lessons of Spring & Richard Stallings, Methods of Higher Education, and Methods of Higher Education II, to name only a few, have clearly represented my feelings, support, and advocacy of education at large.

Since February I have had my mind set on attaining a position on the ASISU Supreme Court (the judicial branch in student government at ISU). Since February it has been quite the battle. Last Friday I finally interviewed for the position and still have heard nothing on a decision. I have taken heat from every direction on this issue, have been told that I don't know anything about the judicial branch of government, nor do I respect it, and that I have been "plotting" against the ASISU president. I not only endorsed the current ASISU student body president on this blog, I called him a great guy. I have also in posts such as One Nation Under God, Inherently Unequal, Roberts Confirmed..., and in the Rehnquist series of the first part of September demonstrated my admiration, understanding, and respect for the United States Supreme Court.

And far more importantly, there are those who don't know at all what I believe, what I have faith in, who I am, and who I am not. Adultery in America, ...On a Personal Note, Ray Charles and the Week That Changed My Life, and A Non-Political Philosophy are straight-up what I feel, what I believe, who I am.

I guess after the long two weeks I've had fighting all these battles that aren't necessary I'm not at all surprised at the fact that I am questioning whether or not blogging has been productive or just a monumental waste of my time. And after 200 posts of putting my opinion out there, opening up to my readers, and admitting my more than obsession with the life and death of our 35th president, I have realized today that I feel it has been a monumental waste of my time. Hopefully, this too shall pass.


Nick Speth said...

I hope it passes too. I'd miss reading your stuff. Homer to Jeebus!

Besides it's not been a waste of your time if it's done half of what NDN has done for me. I've become better at debating topics and even come to better understand what I think about certain issues. I've changed a lot in the year plus since I've been blogging. I think I'm probably a better person

Tara A. Rowe said...

The blog has helped me in numerous ways. Just like you has helped me debate topics and has helped me realize where I stand on issues, but also has been a medium to vent my more liberal ideas. The conservative ISU campus doesn't offer me that opportunity.

In the last week I've come to an understanding that my little posts on the things I hold highly important and often personal mean very little in the long run. And I've come to realize who my friends are and that a lot of people whom I've considered friends don't know me at all.

I can't say if I'll continue or not, but I appreciate your support and input on this, Nick.

Serephin said...

Tara --

You're a terrific writer. And I find so much of what you write to be more than worth the time I spend to read it. If it were not so, I wouldn't bother to blogroll you.

Blogging ain't for sissies. You're no sissy. As the saying goes, "don't give the bastards the satisfaction."

Anonymous said...

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Nick Speth said...

Not to make you feel any worse, but my condolances on the 18-inning loss by the Braves.

Tara A. Rowe said...

Thanks, Serephin. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the 43rd State Blues blog and all of your opinions.

Brian said...


I want to also say that I have enjoyed reading your blog, and think that you are doing a great service by providing your opinion - it gives me hope that Idaho will go blue!

Chris said...

I've been here reading all along too Tara and have really enjoyed your stuff.

Just remember to keep banging away, it takes a while to get everything moving, but every word you type helps.

You're a wonderful voice in this vast sea of Red we call Idaho.

Keep it up...

Tara A. Rowe said...

Again, thanks for the support and confidance. I've found in my time away from blogging that I miss it. Mostly on Sunday nights after the West Wing and on nights like tonight after a lengthy political discussion preparing for a debate tomorrow.

In these weeks away from blogging I've learned a few important lessons: 1) Life's too short to worry about the things people think of you that are not true 2) Life is too long to worry about the things people think of you true or not and 3)If you have a passion, whether that be for politics, painting, or prose, you should only take breaks and never quit just because you're at the end of your rope and barely hanging on.

The mere fact that I haven't deleted this blog is hope for the future. Please be patient and check back occasionally. One of these days I might just surprise you all.