This morning I walked right out of the house without my keys. Locked up the house, walked right out, no keys. Standing in the back yard admiring the mess that is our lawn after the first mowing of the year, I said a few expletives, got the extra key, opened the house, and started the whole process all over again.
The entire week has gone much like this morning.
What day of the week is it? What time is it? Where am I supposed to be right now? Five minutes from now?
Either this is a natural reaction to not knowing what the hell to do with myself now that I don't have a class schedule or I may be losing my mind. I'm hoping that it is just an off-balance week.
Yesterday I had an MRI that revealed I have a protruding disc (L5-S1, if that means anything to anybody) that has caused me to lose feeling in my left foot and calf. Given my health situation over the past year and a half, I wasn't particularly thrilled to know I had to go on steroids to get the inflammation down so that the nerve root could have some room to breath. I'm still not happy about it, but now that I'm nearly through with the tapered dosage what is the point in complaining? That plus physical therapy. I never had back pain or at least not any back pain that seemed unusual for me. I came home from the Frank Church Banquet a little out of whack, but I recovered. Or so I thought.
And just to think I thought I had a hamstring problem and the foot numbness was an added bonus...
It is funny how the body works. I've learned the hard way that a life must be balanced for a body to follow suit.
Health aside, weird doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about my routine these days. No classes. I haven't had a summer off from classes since I graduated from high school. No pressing business to attend to when I get home from my work at the library at the end of the day. No papers to write.
What have I done? Absolutely nothing. Not entirely true, I have updated my CD collection spreadsheet. I haven't even accomplished much in terms of work--the Stallings Collection is right where I left it before finals week--and I can't say I really care. Doing absolutely nothing isn't something I do well. However, everybody needs a break. I needed a break.
After the wheels have fallen off the wagon, what do you do? Well, you take a breather, put the wheels back on, and continue plowing through.